Dear Dick,
I am feeling a little sad today. Because I totally had your back when Sandra Bezic was up on your ass. I requested an attitude change from her, which I got. But you, my friend, made a change too--unfortunately for the worse. (What did she put in those mini-scones!?) I know you knew you were totally over the top, because you kept apologizing for it. "I hope I'm not being too negative, but...she's pathetic!" And furthermore, Mister Snark-fest, I didn't even understand some of your comments. For example: "Oh no! The soufflé has lost its SOO-ful!" Please explain.
But on the other hand, you've given me a good idea for a funny show. Let's have all of the 3rd tier skaters listen to your commentary on their skating. And then, let's have them take out old tapes of your skating and critique your edges (that's another thing--why are you OBSESSED with edges?). I think the perfect skater to start it off is the one who is 29 years old who was performing in her 4th Olympics and was skewered rather harshly by you. And then as a grand finale, you two could skate a pairs program together.
Meanwhile, please tell Scotty he doesn't disappoint, even if he is a closet case.
Love,
MB
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