The Ass Mass

Tonight I experienced the Chicago phenomenon known as "The Ass Mass." It's a Catholic mass geared towards young adults who might want to kill two birds with one stone. Find God and find a honey, all in the same building, all in the same hour. Such masses tend to take place on Sunday evenings, fitting in quite nicely with the schedule of hip, urban, single who stays out late on Saturday nights. I've heard about the Ass Mass for a while, but have never attended. There are a few well-known ones on the north side, one of them being a 10 minute walk from my apartment.

At St. Ben's tonight, the church was pretty full with a mix of both hip and un-hip families, young couples (all straight from what I could tell), old people, and at last, YOUNG SINGLES. With so much being made of the goods that one is to find at an Ass Mass, clear evidence of the YOUNG SINGLES upon walking in the door validates the advertising. Catholic social ventures for young people tend to be small, kind of duddy, and decidedly un-hip. On a couple of occasions I have gone to a post-mass pizza party that was advertised as the greatest-place-to-meet-like-minded-friends-who-believe-in-the-Trinity. Both times, I extracted myself as quickly as possible, not wanting to be a part of a quasi-pathetic-faith-based-recruitment-tool.

Now, it's true that tonight I did not eat pizza with anyone and maybe if I had, I would have drawn the same conclusions about Ravenswoods Catholics Young Adults, the group based at St. Ben's and several other north side parishes that "sponsors" this weekly mass and various social and community service events. [Let me digress to say that I'm sad they changed their name. According to my sister, it used to be called Ravenswood Catholics in Action, which we fondly referred to as Ravenswood Catholics Looking for Action.] Anyway, all I can really say about it is that there were a lot of good looking, single-seeming people there. Including a total punkified-hipster who wore tight jeans, pumas, had funky glasses and spiky hair. This was a total first for me to see at church. And lest you think my trip was purely superficial, I did think the priest gave a nice homily, which included us closing our eyes and envisioning the person we most detested. And then there was talk of darkness and light and I started to feel like I was in my favorite yoga class. And I managed to keep my eyes off of other people's asses (for the most part).

Comments

[Rose]

hey, I thought the ass mass was only at St. Michael's in Lincoln Park! I don't know how St. Ben's compares, but St. Michael's ass mass at 7pm on Sunday is like nothing I've ever experienced before. Where else do you see groups of very attractive and seemingly well-adjusted preppie guys in their early 20's going to church together on a Sunday night?

[magstock]

rose, i imagine that the st. michael's ass mass is a bit more of a meat market. st. ben's is somewhat more in keeping with the nature of the hood, slightly more subtle and tasteful, slightly less preppy, etc. I think there's at least one more--but not sure where it's at.

[Mar]

I believe the king of Ass Masses is at Old St. Pat's. At least that is where I've always heard it referenced. Glad to know now that I don't have to go all the way downtown to satisfy my massive ass mass urges on a Sunday night.

[kibra]

umm...that is hysterical! it is worse than the baptist churches. i love being a black catholic ;) yay! yay! CYA! wahooo!!